Check out this article I forgot I wrote for a paper a few years ago...

It was for the Center for Faith Justice.

Kind of cool forgetting you wrote something and then coming upon it a year and a half later! Also, laughing at my bio at the end... Things change so much.

HELP!

Does anyone know how to fix the white background that shows up behind a lot of my text? I know a lot of it happens because of copying/pasting from other sources but I didn't copy/paste the things typed in that last post and it still turned white...

Email me if you know. :]
askansley@gmail.com

KONY 2012

For anyone who hasn't heard about KONY 2012 yet (where have you been!?), it's a campaign by Invisible Children Inc. to make Joseph Kony, the leader of the Lord's Resistance Army, famous, in the hopes of getting him arrested and stopping his campaign to make Uganda a theocracy based on the Ten Commandments using violent tactics such as kidnapping children and making them sex slaves or forcing them to kill their own parents. 

I'll admit, I had never heard of Kony before last night. I knew that there were children in Africa that were kidnapped and forced to kill, but it was so distant, so easy to ignore. Now we can't ignore it. It's everywhere - on every social media site. 

But as it always goes on the internet when something becomes popular, there are an army of critics there to tell everyone why they're wrong to support Invisible Children. The arguments can be summarized in this link everyone is using.

Here's the problem with everyone bashing Invisible Children right now: IC's main goal is raise awareness. Which they've done. Better than I've seen in a really long time. A lot of people went to sleep last night with no idea who Joseph Kony is. Today, everyone's talking about him - demanding action. He is becoming a household name.

I want to get away from this, though, because by focusing so much on the integrity of Invisible Children, we are completely shifting the focus away from what should matter - the horrible atrocities being committed by Kony. The people putting so much focus on the "legitimacy" of IC are simply proving that they care more about talking 

One of the articles criticizing Invisible Children ended with a series of (mostly sarcastic) questions about IC but this one stood out: "Is [this] all just pompous hypothesizing by Westerners with enough freedom, information, and education to look down on a simple, kind act?" To which I have to answer, yes.

Regardless of how IC functions as an organization, they are making an incredible impact (and doing a lot more about the problem than sitting on their computers criticizing the people trying to change things).

Do you know how your birth control works?

I got a attacked a few weeks ago for saying that hormonal birth control prevents implantation by changing the lining of the uterus, preventing pregnancy, not conception. This included the anonymous attacker telling me to take an anatomy/physiology class. While I agree that anatomy classes are great sources of information on the human body, I still think that person was confused.

Hormonal birth control does contain synthetic estrogen which works to prevent conception by making sure a new egg is not released, however, it also contains synthetic progesterone which works to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg should the first hormone (estrogen) fail and conception occur. 

Don’t believe me? Maybe you’ll believe Rachel Maddow: 

Here’s her awesome video on birth control!

I digress, the person did criticize me for using youtube videos (I thought it would be easier than reading an article! Oops!), so will you listen to Planned Parenthood?

“The hormones also thin the lining of the uterus. In theory, this could prevent pregnancy by keeping a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterus.” (Source)

WebMD?

Hormonal contraceptives (the pill, the patch, and the vaginal ring) all contain a small amount of synthetic estrogen and progestin hormones. These hormones work to inhibit the body’s natural cyclical hormones to prevent pregnancy. Pregnancy is prevented by a combination of factors. The hormonal contraceptive usually stops the body from releasing an egg from the ovary. Hormonal contraceptives also change the cervical mucus to make it difficult for the sperm to find an egg. Hormonal contraceptives can also prevent pregnancy by making the lining of the womb inhospitable for implantation. (Source)

Go Ask Alice?

“Meanwhile, synthetic progestin works to:

Stop the pituitary gland from producing LH in order to prevent egg release

Make the uterine lining inhospitable to a fertilized egg

Partially limit the sperm’s ability to fertilize the egg

Thicken the cervical mucus to hinder sperm movement (although this effect may not be key to preventing pregnancy)” (Source) 

Still don’t believe me? The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals talks about all different kinds of birth control!

Injectable Contraception: Hormone changes lining of the uterus so that pregnancy cannot occur.

IUD: Hormone changes lining of the uterus so that pregnancy cannot occur.

The Pill, transdermal patch, vaginal ring: Prevent the release of LH and FSH (which allow eggs to grow and release, but also thicken the uterine wall, making it hospitable to a fertilized egg)

All forms of hormonal contraception reduce the risk of pregnancy by preventing ovulation. Some forms of hormonal contraception also change the lining of the uterus so that pregnancy cannot occur.

(Source)

So, everyone, I hope we all fully understand how contraception works now and can make fully informed decisions.

Why Tumblr Makes My Skin Crawl.

As you guys most likely know, I recently left my tumblr blog for good. I've got 400-ish followers and 4,500-ish posts on there so it was kind of painful to abandon it. Tumblr helped me grow my faith, gave me a safe place to speak openly about my history of abuse, and just vent when I needed to; but after a slew of hate mail, hateful "reblogs" and a changing culture on there, I decided to take a short break. After coming back from my "short" break, I now can't scroll through my dash or read a single post without my blood pressure going through the roof. Here is a (very) short list of why I've now come to loathe tumblr.


1. Follower Count
As much as it's nice to know how many people read your blog and care what you have to say, the follower count breeds a competitive spirit among blogs that should be allies. As I've said before on tumblr, it's flattering that people followed my blog, but my follower count means next to nothing to me. The fact that people interact with me, respond to my posts, and ask me questions shows me a great deal more than the number of people who have clicked one button to "follow" my blog. And people actually compare these things! Somehow a higher follower count means your blog is better than someone else's. If that doesn't bread hostility, competition, and contempt, I don't know what does. So stop asking about my followers!

2. Extremists
It seems like tumblr is a hot bed of people with very myopic worldviews. There is no such thing as being "moderate" - and if you truly are moderate, you will get attacked by both sides until you settle into a comfortable, albeit dangerous, extreme stance one way or the other. When an entire group of people swings so violently to one side of the spectrum on any issue, it terrifies me. From the Catholics who don't believe nearly any Church doctrine, to the Catholics that say that anyone who doesn't believe every little nuanced thing the Church has ever said isn't a real Catholic... both sides are dangerous to Catholicism.

3. Pride
We all know pride is a major sin and it is rampant on tumblr. Everyone seems to think they know all there is to know about the one topic they've chosen to get into and absolutely cannot accept any differently or listen to other opinions. The follower count contributes to this, as does the hero-worship of favorite blogs and "fan mail." We are just ordinary people. Living ordinary lives. Some of us have a particular interest in something (mine being Christian Sexuality), and some of us know quite a bit about certain things. That does not make that person an authority. However, tumblr seems to convince these people (myself included) that we are authorities on whatever we choose. I fell into the trap, and I would urge you all the take a step back. Honestly, I feel like I had to take such frequent breaks mainly because of my pride.You can only have people tell you wonderful things about yourself so many times before you start to believe them. I see this all over the tumblr community and while I think it's wonderful that we support each other, I also think it's very important that each person ensure they are not getting too prideful (more on this to come in a later post).

4. Tumblr Support
After a string of really hateful anti-Catholic sentiment popped up, one blog decided to up the ante and devote an entire blog to anti-Catholic hate. I sent tumblr an email (the first time I'd ever done so), bringing the blog to their attention and pointing out a particularly hateful post that I hoped they could address for me.

Their response?
The exact same response given to others who email about the blog.
Word for word.
Defending the blog's freedom of expression.
With no attempt at addressing the specific post I had linked them to.

I sent a follow up email asking if they would defend the freedom of expression of other dangerous, hateful blogs (such as a racist, or anti-semetic blog). No one bothered to answer my email. Bottom line? Tumblr support doesn't care about us, doesn't protect us, and doesn't have the time to respond to emails.


[if anyone has a link to a blog like the ones I mentioned, send it my way and I'd be happy to rescind my statement]

An Angry Explanation of Why I Don’t Believe in Sex Before Marriage (and an angry letter to the contributers of Yes Means Yes) [TW: rape, domestic violence]

Where to begin? So I’m currently reading this book called Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape. I picked it up because it was in the feminist section, it talked about an end to rape, and mentioned “sexual power.” In my head, I was like, “Yeah! I’m a feminist, I’d love to see an end to rape, and I want to see what they have to say about empowering women to make their own sexual choices.” Choices being the operative word here.

However, it’s hard for me to get through even one essay in this book without wanting to throw up or throw the book across the room.

As many of you know, I was raped in high school. I’m going to go through the gory details here because I don’t want anyone to question it. I was dating a boy. I am Catholic, he was not. He abused me physically and verbally and manipulated me until I didn’t believe in anything I had before I met him. Once I got to this point and I was so dependent on him for my identity and worth, we had sex. The next morning I immediately knew I’d made a mistake and spent the entire day alternating between crying and throwing up. I explained that I didn’t want to have sex with him again - at least until I figured out what I believed and what my emotions were doing. He was entirely understanding. Then the next time we saw each other, he pulled the car into a parking lot and asked me to have sex with him. I said no several times. He used lines like, “If you really loved me, you’d do this for me,” and basically begged and pleaded until I couldn’t say no anymore. What could I do? He was in the driver’s seat and made it pretty clear I wasn’t leaving until he got what he wanted. From that day on, every time I saw him, we had sex. I would usually try my luck for the day by starting out with something like, “I’ve been in rehearsal all day… I’m really tired. Is it ok with we don’t do anything today?” And he would also act like it was so silly that I had asked! Of course we didn’t have to have sex that day! But it would inevitably end up with his hand up my shirt and no matter how angrily I told him to stop, he wouldn’t. Sex was something I owed him. No matter how many times I said no, he wasn’t hearing it. If you want to try to tell me that wasn’t rape then you can shove it up your butt because I’d like to hear what you would call rape - other than being held at gunpoint. 

Now, this book is sitting on its high horse and lecturing on how the only way to heal from sexual abuse is to have lots and lots of sex. Well, I’ve done that sweetheart, and guess what? It didn’t work! And do you know why I did it? Because I believed those lines that feminist literature had fed to me about sexual freedom and sexual healing…

My second serious boyfriend I met in college. I had just finished reading The Purity Myth. I was convinced virginity is some social construct meant to oppress women and I was one of those angry feminists. I decided I was going to “take back” my sexuality and we ended up having sex very shortly after we met. To put it bluntly it was awful. I was having flashbacks and I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t stand it. When I told HIM I didn’t want to have sex any more, we broke up several months later. A lot of other stuff went into it, but my discomfort with sex was a major factor in our relationship ending.

So here I am. Nearly 20 years old. I’ve slept with two people. Both experiences were terrible.

The ONLY good things I’ve gotten out of this book are words that resonated with me from the foreward by Wendy Cho: “I said yes because I felt it was too much trouble to say no. I said yes because I didn’t want to have to defend my “no,” qualify it, justify it - deserve it.”

My solution to not having to justify my no? I’m not having sex until I am completely and totally joined to another human being - my husband - and he completely and totally understand me, knows where I’m coming from, and respects my “no.”

I’ll say it - I don’t trust men. I don’t trust them to listen to me; I don’t trust them to respect me; and I certainly don’t trust them not to rape me. But I don’t think that will ever be solved by having sex with lots of men. I counter that distrust by not putting myself in situations where men can betray me. 

I never want to go through what I’ve been through with my last two boyfriends again. Ever. What is my solution to that? I will not have sex before marriage.

I will only ever put myself in a situation as intimate as having sex with one other person for the rest of life. A person who completely and totally understand me inside and out and who I can trust over anyone else in this whole world.

If you believe your sexual healing will come from having sex whenever you want with whomever you want, then more power to you! That is your choice! Seriously, I understand that not everyone shares my beliefs or my religion so if other people want to have sex before marriage that is genuinely none of my business.

Will I consistently say that the healthiest way to have sex is in a unitive and procreative way? Yes. Because that is what I believe.

But don’t you dare come to me and try to tell me that there is something “wrong” with me because the last thing I’d like to do right now is crawl in bed with some guy in an attempt to “get over” what has happened to me. 

Respecting sexual decision means respecting ALL sexual decisions. Including chastity.

TL;DR Don’t you dare judge my sexual choices if you’re going to talk about “sexual freedom.”

Why I LOVE My Confirmation Saint - St. Brigid

Going through Confirmation in 10th grade, I wasn't very into my faith. I was doing Confirmation because I knew it was the next step in the CCD process. In about November, we had to pick our Confirmation name. I wanted to pick someone cool but I didn't have the patience to wade through all the patron saint lists, and a friend in my class had already picked Cecilia - the patron saint of music.

I was torn between choosing my Aunt or my mom's best friend, Bridget, as my sponsor. I decided to ask my Aunt to be my sponsor, but I still wanted Bridget to be involved somehow so I chose her namesake as my saint name - St. Brigid of Ireland. I liked the name, I liked Ireland. It sounded good with my names - Ansley Grace Brigid. Then I didn't think any more of it.

Until this week. Yesterday being Ash Wednesday and all, I started a Novena to St. Joan of Arc. For those who don't know, St. Joan of Arc is one of the coolest saints... and she's the "realest" patron saint of rape victims. I decided to look up some other saints because I was talking to a friend and suggested she pray for St. Joan's intercession.

While I was in saint-mode, I decided to check up on St. Brigid. I hadn't thought much about her other than I share her name now and every once in a while give an offering and pray in front of her statue at St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Here's where things get really cool.

She is the patron saint of (among other things) midwives, infants, and nuns. MIDWIVES, guys! I had no idea my sophomore year in high school that I would want to be a midwife. Wanna talk about divine coincidence? I think God's trying to tell me something there. Also, I just started considering religious life several weeks ago. And lo and behold, she's the patron saint of nuns, too. Intercession in my discernment process!

Now. This woman is, like, my new favorite person. Nearly ever. Next to St. Joan of Arc.
1. Her parents were baptized by St. Patrick. And she had a personal relationship with him.
2. After her father arranged her marriage, she prayed to be ugly, so no man would want to marry her and only regained her beauty after taking her vows.
3. It's also said that when St. Patrick heard her final vows, he mistakenly used the form for ordaining priests. When told of it, he replied, "So be it, my son, she is destined for great thing." (Source)

Finally, (my favorite part), here's a snippet of a prayer she wrote. I am not kidding with this one:
"I would like a great lake of beer for the King of Kings.
I would like to be watching Heaven's family drinking it through all eternity."

Girl after my own heart..